10 Ways to Lose Weight Without Working Out

It’s summer time!

Which means pool parties, vacations, lots of food, many of us celebrate with a beer or cocktail, and a whole lot of sun bathing. What it doesn’t leave a lot of time for is working out.

I know many of us stop working out during this season & dread going back to the gym or that workout class we used to do almost daily. We all wait till the kids go back to school and our schedules go back to normal.

But don’t fret! There are other ways you can lose weight during this summer season without having to workout!

WHHAAAAA you say? Oh yes, there are other factors when it comes to staying fit. I highlighted the top 10 ways below.

Cold water. Jumping in the cold ocean or taking a cold shower makes your body work harder to stay warm. This causes you to burn more calories but it also boosts your immune system, your metabolism, helps reduce inflammation in your body, and puts you in a better mood. To learn more about cold water immersion you can CLICK HERE.

Intermitten fasting. This type of eating happens when you only allow yourself to eat during certain hours of the day. In essence, instead of eating 3-4 meals a day with a few hours in between, you only eat about 2 larger meals in less time. It helps you lose weight, keep the weight off, and many times helps reduce body fat as well. To learn more on this one CLICK HERE.

Sleep 7 – 8 hours a night regularly. Wait? Sleep. THAT’S your tip? YEP! I’ll tell you why. Without adequate sleep you hold more stress in your body which causes your body to hold on to more, creating more fat cells in and around your body. Sleep is a major way your body recovers from stress, injury, sickness, sore muscles, everything. Without it, your body starts to shut down and becomes unhealthy. To read on and see why lack of sleep makes you crave sweets CLICK HERE.

Walking daily. With fit bits and smart watches it’s becoming easier to see how many steps we take in a day but before, we didn’t realize how much we used to move. Our lifestyle is getting more and more sedentary which is why now, more than ever, it’s important to move more. Walking daily boosts your metabolism, your energy, and your mood. In my program The Body Guide coming soon I use walking as one of the options you can do for a quick workout. It’s that important. How you move isn’t the most important thing, it’s that you move in general. So get to stepping!

Drop the bread. My pastry lovers hate this one (I’m one of them) but bread these days is not the same kind of bread your grandma ate. Our breads are packed with sugar and fillers many times. There are so many other foods you could eat to replace the use of bread like sweet potatoes, rice, quinoa, potatoes, cous cous even. Except for special occasions, put down the bread my friend.

Switch the booze (beer vs. vodka). You know the term “beer belly” right? It didn’t get it’s name from a guy who has a six pack. The terms refers to the over weight belly rolls. Thats because beer has a high calorie count with an average of 150 calories per beer and abut 14 grams of carbs. A healthier option is vodka. vodka only has about 75 calories and no extra carbs or sugar. It’s ranked the highest for many dieters and I drank it when I was on my fitness model program. So when you’re celebrating, switching what your celebrating with could help you keep a few pounds off too. To learn more CLICK HERE.

Saunas. Awe saunas, there’s nothing like sitting in a heated wooden room for a few minutes while you sweat profusely. Saunas can help you to lose those extra few pounds of water weight right before you’re about to head out for the evening. It will leave you refreshed and lighter after sweating all those toxins and extra water out of your body. Just be sure to rehydrate yourself before you go out partying that night. This is not to be used regularly, only if you want an extra boost of calories expenditure and energy for the night.

Fasting for 3-5 days. This is similar to the intermittent fasting technique except you don’t eat for a few days. I have personally done this a couple times and though it is hard, it does have some cool health benefits. It regenerates your immune system, reduces inflammation in your body (or you could just take CBD for that one), helps generate new brain cells interestingly enough, and yes it will help you lose weight. I lost seven pounds the last time I did it and as long as you eat healthy afterwards you can keep it off.

Don’t eat sugar. Ever. no seriously, it’s addicting (I am addicted too) and your body has to work extra hard to metabolize it. Most of the time your body isn’t able to get rid of all of it so it stores it (can you guess where?) in your body creating more fat cells. Sugar is also the number one food for cancer cells, not to freak you out. So yea, stop eating sugar.

Have more sex. Not really sure I need to explain this one too much but having sex with your significant other burns calories, boosts metabolism and mood, and makes for a healthy relationship and body. You not only lose weight, you release endorphins making you feel happy and less stressed. Doesn’t that sound nice?

There you have it! 10 ways to lose weight this summer that doesn’t require you to go to the gym.If you do any of these tag me on your social media so I can see!…except the last one, I don’t want to see that  lol

I hope this helps and I will connect with you again soon!


How Going Plant based can Save the World

Being in the fitness industry you hear your fair share of diet and fitness crazes. Also being a curious creature I’m willing to try anything twice, three times if I like it. Needless to say, I’ve tried a lot.

There was the cabbage soup diet that left me starving everyday (wouldn’t recommend that one) and the fun moon bounce shoes as a workout. Yes, you read that correctly, moon. bounce. shoes…there are actual classes for them!

Google it.

Of all the crazy off the wall diet and fit class fads, there has been one that seems to not only work for me, but has it’s hands in many of the long standing “diets” of Keto, Paleo, and 4 week body to name a few.

Why I chose Plant Based

There are three main reasons I chose plant based that I believe to be important. Not just for the individual looking to become healthier, but for society as a whole. Plant based is easier on the digestive system, it gives an easy foundation to live off of, and most importantly, it’s healthier for the earth.

Your digestive system

Let me start by saying everyone is different in how your body reacts to things. So when talking about food intake it is no different.

From what I have found through my own experimenting as well as years in teaching others nutrition, most people have had similar outcomes.

Animal products in general but mostly animal meat, is harsher on the digestive system than eating a green salad with lentils. While the salad can pass through the digestive system easily, meat takes longer to digest.

This means longer time in your body, making it work harder and feel heavier. Some people even take days to digest one meal containing meat in it, let alone if you eat meat with every meal daily.

Warning: gross information ahead

This is part of the reason why the average human has about 17 pounds of dried fecal matter in our bodies at any given point.

That’s kind of disgusting, or it could be seen as a good thing. Now you can subtract 17 pounds from the scale and feel better about your weight. Just kidding.

If you’d like to learn how you can become more plant based I have a few guidelines for you at the end of this article.

Easy Foundation

One big fail I have found with many fad diets is you find yourself almost scrounging for different things to eat so you don’t end up eating the same meal over and over again. I’m not a cat, I enjoy variety with my food.

With a plant based lifestyle there are so many possibilities.

You also get to decide how much plant based you want to be. For example, I still eat eggs, fish, cheese, and occasionally chicken. Those are obviously animal products but I still consider myself plant based.

Why? Because most of the food I eat on the daily are foods like leafy greens, veggies, beans, seeds, oils like olive and MCT, and fruit.

I will eventually phase out chicken but, I need baby steps. I grew up eating red meat so I need to make small changes for my own psychy. Fish I believe I’ll always eat.

What about protein intake? Great question and there are some people I have met that need an extra amount of protein for their bodies but for most of us, we don’t need as much as you think.

Did you know human breast milk has the least amount of protein in it than any other species of mammal? It’s true and it’s because (well, one reason anyway) your body takes what nutrients it needs from the food we eat.

Say you’re eating a salad with spinach. If your body needs protein it will take the protein from the spinach and discharge everything else from the leaf. However, if your body needs more vitamins it will take the vitamins and discharge the protein.

Isn’t your body magical?

Reducing your carbon footprint

My last and final point is perhaps the most important. With new technology and medicines you don’t hear about plagues wiping out populations or famines destroying cities anymore.

This means our popultaion on this planet is expanding at an exponential rate. A growing population means more mouths to feed means more food needs to be produced.

The meat industry is a booming industry since so many of us eat meat daily, but it is also a biohazard.

Did you know the waste that comes from animal farms has more greenhouse gas emissions than cars, trucks, trains, and planes put together.

What’s worse is biohazards like cars and trucks produce CO2 emissions while animal waste creates methane, a chemical known to be 23 times more potent in warming the planet.

meat vs. cars

The more meat society is demanding means the more livestock farms needed to fuel our bodies. Fuel that we can easily also get from healthier options like beans, broccoli, and spinach.

I’m not saying stop eating meat. We as humans historically speaking have always had meat as part of our diet. The difference is we used to only have meat sometimes, not with every meal everyday of our lives.

PLUS it saves you money! meat is expensive stuff.

If you ‘d like to learn more on this subject there is a great article you can read by CLICKING HERE.

Okay, so you’ve heard enough and you want to try this whole plant based eating thing.

Great! Here are a few things you can do to change your daily food intake on a healthy level.

Start small. Try one meal without any meat in it. Instead of chicken, try beans.

Take baby steps. Once you’ve been having a meal a day with no meat, try having a meal with no animal products at all.

Build. After you have been eating a meal a day with no animal products try going a whole day without meat. Then once you feel comfortable try a week. If you need help finding recipes CLICK HERE and I’ll send you my plant based recipe ebook for free. All I need is your name and an email to send it to.

Know thyself. You know what will keep you happy in life. For me, I could never go vegan because I love honey. I also know I’d never cut out eggs because I don’t feel bad about eating eggs, chickens lay them naturally.

So for you, figure out what foods you can and cannot live without while staying happy about life and implement your new healthy eating into your diet.


Going plant based does not mean you can never eat meat again. Honestly, sometimes I crave an In N Out cheeseburger so I have one.

It just means your day to day living consists of a variety of foods that doesnt always need to be animal related.

If everyone took out meat for just one meal a day we could reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Imagine what would happen if we all went one day without meat?

We might even be able to save our beautiful planet from destruction if we work together.

Foods to boost your…motivation?

One of our main “motivation molecules” is a chemical our bodies naturally create called Dopamine. Dopamine is responsible for boosting our drive, our focus, and our productivity. It is also the basis or our reward system.


You can get dopamine by exercising and through meditation but did you know you can also get it through one of our favorite past times? yep, EATING! There are certain foods that have a high level of tyrosine in it, which is the amino acid that makes dopamine.

Below I will give you a list of foods high in this motivation making machine but first let me tell you WHY you want to create dopamine in your body.

Dopamine affects not only motivation but also the happiness feeling. It makes us feel that success feeling while giving us a competitive edge when it comes to work and our personal lives. It is also great for helping with stress management AND helps resist impulses so we can achieve those goals we so desperately want.


Without proper dopamine production we are left feeling unmotivated, unorganized, fatigued, and depressed.

Okay okay okay, calm down. I’ll give you the list now, you’ve waited long enough:

  • all animal products
  • almonds
  • apples
  • avocado
  • bananas
  • beets
  • chocolate
  • coffee
  • fava beans
  • green leafy vegetables
  • green tea
  • lima beans
  • oatmeal
  • sea vegetables
  • sesame and pumpkin seeds
  • turmeric
  • watermelon
  • wheat germ

Homework for this week: be sure to pick up at least 3 items from this list to help you boost your own motivation making machine and help yourself to feel happy, productive, and successful.

*Information given on this post came from the help of www.bebrainfit.com a great website if you want to become smarter and more successful.

Why You Should Eat Chocolate

Finally! A sentence that makes sense! When I first heard dark chocolate had so many health benefits I nearly jumped up and bought a pound that day.

Yes, you read it correctly, I did say DARK chocolate. Don’t let this discourage you though, when I first tried dark chocolate I didn’t find it appeasing either. However, I started with the lower percentage stuff (50%) then worked my way up. Now I find it satisfying and just as tasty as milk chocolate.

The reason milk chocolate is not as beneficial (besides the fact that most companies pump it with sugar) is the milk in it and/or eating chocolate with milk stops the absorption of antioxidants found in dark chocolate.


Okay, on to the good stuff. As in why eating dark chocolate is a great idea:

  • The cocoa bean found in dark chocolate is high in fiber, potassium, magnesium, iron, + zinc. It also has healthy monosaturated and saturated fatty acids as well as caffeine to help stimulate your brain! (Those are all good for you)
  • Dark chocolate is one of the most highest scoring foods for antioxidants, even more so than blueberries and Acaí berries.
  • Studies have shown eating dark chocolate has reduced the risk of heart disease and lower blood pressure.
  • Improves insulin sensibility, helping to fight against diabetes.
  • The flavonols in dark chocolate does wonders for your blood flow to the skin while  increasing skin density and hydration.
  • One of the most amazing parts about dark chocolate is it helps pump blood into your brain and gives you more mental focus. It has even been said to help reduce memory loss.
  • Eating Dark chocolate makes you feel happy. Besides the obvious reason of eating chocolate, it gives you a boost of endorphins, the feel good hormone in your body.
  • Lastly (at least for this post) it helps with food cravings. When you eat cheap, sugar packed chocolate and/or sweets it does not end your sugar craving. It actually puts fuel on the fire, making you crave it even more. Dark chocolate gives you the satisfaction of eating a sweet without having to indulge in too much. It not only takes the sweet tooth away but has been proven to give satisfaction for salty and savory cravings as well.

There you have it, the reasons why you should eat chocolate (as if you needed that many) but it is important to know what you’re eating and why. I have mine with a glass of red wine. Best. Dessert. Ever.

One word of caution: balance is the key to life so make sure you do not over indulge in anything, chocolate included. Try having just one small piece and enjoy the flavor in the moment as it does have quite a lot of calories attached to it.



*much of my information came from this awesome website called www.bebrainfit.com with other small resources coming from other sites.

Activities to Try if You Want to Test Your Limits

I’ve been researching things I can do to test myself. A bunch of us workout all the time and hit the gym hard for what? In some instances training becomes more than just staying healthy, it becomes a challenge. How hard can we push? How long can we go? How heavy can we lift? For the competitive types (you know who you are) what else is there to do besides go indoors and work to be the best person in the gym?

This is why I have been looking for ways to test my body, my endurance, my strength in more “natural” ways I guess you can say than just lifting simply to lift. I have created a list partially for you and partially for me as a bucket list of physical endurance challenges. Some I’ve done, Some I’m dying to try, others I may die not trying haha, but never say never. Check it out:

  1. Practical Wilderness Survival
  2. Parkour + Ninja Warrior training
  3. Rock climbing
  4. Snowboarding
  5. White Water rafting
  6. Bungee Jump
  7. Sky Dive
  8. Black water rafting
  9. Ocean diving
  10. Swim with great white sharks
  11. Learn MMA in Thailand
  12. Hang glide
  13. Cliff jump
  14. Tough mudder
  15. Spartan race
  16. IronMan


Number 15 I’ll be doing with some of my friends in December! It’s a Spartan Sprint which means:

3 miles long, 20 obstacles. These obstacles include throwing a spear (I’m personally excited for that one), climbing a mud wall, rope climbing, tire flips, and carrying a heavy a$$ boulder. Sound fun? If this is something you want to do then SIGN UP HERE and use the code for a discount!

I’ll add more as I come across it, do you have anything to add to the list? Let me know in the comment section below and I’ll be happy to add it with a shout out of your name!

How Food & Your Future are Related

“If you don’t make time for health now, you will have to make time for disease later.”

Simple yet hard truth about our society today. We live in an instant gratification culture where we want what we want, and we want it now. There is little to no thought for the results it will produce later in our lives, our relationships, or our bodies. For example:

  • Buying that expensive dress now will result in having financial difficulty at the end of the month if you cannot afford it.
  • Eating the popcorn and ice cream at the movie now will result in a little extra around the waist by thursday.
  • Yelling at a friend in front of a crowd now about something bothering you may result in the loss of that friend tomorrow.

Fun Fact of the day: Other countries language has futuristic thinking embedded into their vocabulary, subconsciously making that group of people prepare and think about the future. In America, the english language is very present minded, making it easier for us not to think about future consequences.

So why the hell does all this matter?

It matters because the way we as a culture feed our bodies with boxed food, trans fats, and sugar packed goodness will lead into problems such as obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and Alzheimers later; even though the instant gratification is yummy goodness now.


Think about this for a moment: Is there something you have done in your past that is affecting you now relationally, physically, emotionally, financially, or professionally? If you had the chance to go back and tell yourself to stop or change direction would you?

Did you know you can still do that?

You can be that change right here, right now for your future self. You don’t have to have the regret of not taking care of yourself now and have to live with disease, body pain, and hardship later.

Make the change and decide today to take care of yourself by eating wholesome foods, getting rid of crap that’s bad for your health, and start moving more.

It’s simple. You’re right, it’s not easy, most things worth doing are never easy. But it is simple to know what you should do for your future self so you don’t have to live with the regret and pain later.


Would you like some help? Do you need a friend to guide you on a different path? I can be that friend for you! OOH OOH OOH pick me pick me!

I can and will help you if you take the action step needed. The first step needed if you would like me to guide you in a simple and yes, I’ll even say it, easy path to health and wellness is by adding yourself to a free health challenge I made for you. You can start today by clicking here and adding yourself to my free Pinterest challenge. It’s all on Pinterest so don’t get lost by scrolling through fall fashion 2016. I’ve made that mistake before.

The challenge is meant for one day at a time you change one little thing or add one little thing. Then the next day you try a different health choice. It’s only one step a day so it doesn’t overwhelm you. Go ahead and CLICK HERE now and begin your change today.

Screen Shot 2016-02-22 at 12.52.23 PM

Good job! I’m proud of you for taking action and making time for your health now, so you don’t have to live with disease later. You’re a go-getter, I like that about you. I love keeping good people like you around, so let’s get healthy together and live a full, fun, and healthy life!

5 Pre + Post Workout Tips

On the internet I see posts and tags about how weight loss is all about nutrition, then the next week “they” (whoever THEY are) claim it is all in what type of workout you do. Now I see more and more math equations on the influence between food and workout (70/30, 80/20, 90/10, etc)



Here’s the secret: you need BOTH nutrition and exercise to feel and look your best self. How much of both depends on how often you move, how often you eat, your individual body needs, etc. so there is no one yes or no answer because why?

There is no one size fits all.


That being said, there are guidelines you can follow on your quest to your healthiest self. In these guidelines I have also noted things you should look out for and be weary of as explained in tip number 4.

Tip 1: Your body needs fuel in order to burn at it’s peak performance. 

What the flip does that mean?! It means you need food in order to workout. Timing on this is important as you don’t want to eat too soon before a workout or too late. Recommended time difference as Precision Nutritions Dr. John Berardi suggests is about 1-2 hours before a meal. Be sure to eat a meal with clean fats and/or carbs to properly fuel your body and muscles like a banana or toast with peanut butter.

Examples of pre workout meals: peanut butter on toast, sweet potatoes and eggs, hard boiled eggs with avocado, chicken bowl (rice, chicken, peppers).

Tip 2: Your body needs energy after your workout in order to rebuild the broken down muscle tissues. 

This one is similar to tip 1. You need to replenish your body of the nutrients it used up during your workout.

If you do not eat and you allow your energy expenditure to exceed your energy intake for too long you can encounter injury, fatigue, weight gain, or even increased stress as the hormone cortisol stays at an elevated level after your workout.

The time frame in general standards is no longer than 1-2 hours after you train. Your meal needs to have protein with some carbs. Proteins build your muscles up and carbs replenish your energy stores.

Examples of post workout meals: protein shake, greek yogurt with berries, cottage cheese with toast, lean chicken or turkey with some greens.

Tip 3: What you eat matters.

This goes for all daily living activities so working out is no different. If you put junk in your body, you will get junk out of your body.


Cheat sheet! (because let’s be honest, we don’t live in a perfect world of eating 1 1/2 hours before a workout everyday):

  • longer period between eating and working out: meal with HIGH FAT ( avocado, bacon, MCT oil, nuts) as it digests slower.
  • Short period between eating and working out: go with a SIMPLE CARB (whole grain bread, sweet potato, oats) for a faster digestion.

Tip 4: pre workout energy

Let’s just call it what it is; supplements are a HUGE industry these days. I feel like every couple of years another supplement company pops up claiming to be the best out there.

The truth is there is little regulation on a lot of supplement products and many of them are very bad for your body (remember the diet pill that made your heart race and pupils contract?) You need to be cautious when buying off the counter. Even though the salesman sounds like he knows what he is talking about, do your research first.

For me personally, I only use two different types of pre-workout, Coffee and Spark. If I don’t have one available I’ll use the other. Spark comes from the company Advocare, and it’s the one and only company I trust wholeheartedly. It comes well researched, well managed, and highly respected by professional athletes, coaches, and olympians all over. I liked them so much I became a member, it’s the only company I affiliate with. To learn more on Advocare you can CLICK HERE.

That’s not to say there are not other good products out there, this is just the one I trust and recommend. My only request is for you to research what you are putting into your body beforehand.

Tip 5: Hydration

keeping your body hydrated is crucial for survival. No really, without water for about 2-3 days you will die. Working out makes you sweat (if you are not sweating during a workout, you’re not working hard enough) sweat comes from water in your body. Which means you need to replenish the water you sweat out in order to maintain hydration. One way you can tell if you are hydrated is from your urine, the clearer it is the more you’re hydrated.


Fun fact: When you first start feeling the thirsty feeling you are already 1-2% down from your proper hydration level. AKA you’re already dehydrated. You should drink water before your workout, during your workout (especially if it’s a high intensity workout) and after. If your workout is strenuous and water just isn’t cutting it I would add in a slice of lemon and some pink Himalayan sea salt to replenish lost electrolytes.


If you have any other questions regarding pre and post workout tips and obstacles you are having please feel free to comment below and I will answer your question as quickly as I can.

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San Diego

It’s cold and dark, all except that bonfire going on about 500 yards away from us. We were sitting on the sand in silence even though there were 7 of us total, 4 Irish and 3 Americans. It was the Irish’s first time to California and we wanted to make it as fun as possible for them. We hadn’t reached our goal yet with the first night being epically mediocre pre-gaming at my friends house then heading to the beach because we had nothing else to do. The Irish weren’t 21 yet and their “Europe age card” didn’t work at a club. We were sitting on the side lines of what looked like an epic party on the beach, all thinking the same thing but no one wanted to be the first to move for fear of what that would mean.

“Fuck it.” I heard come out of my mouth before I could even realize what was happening. I don’t know what came over me, I just felt a pull.

“Let’s go.” I stood up and started walking to the fire like it was calling my name. One by one everyone got up and started to slowly follow me to the bon fire. There are a lot of people there, I thought to myself as we got closer to the party. No one is going to really notice 6 extra guys and a girl. I think I knew I was totally bullshitting myself just to muster up some courage. Who just walks in on someone else’s bon fire while they are still there?

I remember the moment the air and sand grew warmer. With my heart beat raging in my ear, pumping the adrenaline throughout my body we walked up to the party and just acted as if we belonged there. At first we all kind of stood on the outskirts of everyone there until one of the Irish started talking to some guy standing next to us.

Next thing I knew we were laughing and drinking some guys beer hanging by the fire. The rest of the night we were part of the crew, laughing, wrestling, and drinking with strangers on some beach in PB. I stepped away from the shenanigans to kneel by the fire at one point for some quiet reflection. I couldn’t believe it, I actually got all of us into this bonfire, and I don’t even know how I did it. I just…went with it. As I was roasting my hands by the fire patting myself on the back I saw a young guy come up beside me and throw in an empty cardboard bud light box into the fire. I looked at him with a smile hoping to God he wouldn’t ask me who I was and ask me to leave. I was moments away from my gig being up when he returned the smile and said “Hey thanks for letting us join your bon fire.” then walked away back to a group of people hanging to one side of the fire.

“Oh yea, of course…” what the…

The Other

The snowcap mountains were breathtaking as I drove to the small mountain town. I could feel with every turn of the road the weight I have been caring lift off my shoulders. It was magical, all the worry and stress left my mind and I could breath easy up here in the mountains. When I reached my destination, I checked into my room at the lodge with no issues. It wasn’t “tourist season” so the place seemed empty and quiet. As I passed the lobby there was a huge rock fireplace with what looked like 2 big comfy chairs in front of it. I have to go sit there tonight I thought to myself. As I walked into my newly cleaned room I could see the mountain out my window, my queen size bed all to myself, and a desk with a lamp that would be my office for the next few days. I was looking forward to  getting some work done and my book finished without distractions. I’ve been waiting for this work vacation for sometime now, I’ve dreamed of how it would feel being in the mountains by myself to work and rest, and recover. Funny, when I got here I had already started to miss my son and husband, but I was also excited to get some much needed me time in.

I went to dinner in the lodges restaurant. It was a cozy place but nothing too fancy which I preferred. I had a healthy dinner with a glass of red wine to wash it down, the house noir. It wasn’t my Meiomi but it was smooth enough. Knowing I had a long night of writing ahead I ordered a vanilla latte for dessert to help keep me awake. After a few sips while looking out at the horizon I remembered the big comfy chairs by the fire. Hoping they weren’t taken I hopped up telling my waiter to charge my room for the meal and headed to the lobby area.

I was so relieved when I saw that one of the chairs was still open, the other taken up by a small elderly woman with shoulder length white hair enjoying what looked like tea with her feet up on the ottoman toward the fire. Not wanting to bother her but also didn’t want to steal someones seat, I went up and asked if that seat was taken. her quick reply was “yes… by you!” with a smile. I jumped right into the chair with my coffee in both hands hugging my heart and made myself at home. I sat slightly slouched with my right foot crossed over my left on top of the ottoman in front of me after taking off my shoes, revealing my bow tie socks. I closed my eyes and reveled in the feeling of the warm fire, in the mountains, by myself, drinking a warm cup of coffee, on a vacation just for me. Deep breath in the nose, deep breath out the mouth.


The word took me out of my current trance and found myself looking over at the woman beside  me.

“Pardon”? I asked.

“Tumeric. It’ll help save your life. You should have more tumeric. I put some in my tea once a day. Better for you than that sugar you’re drinking.”

Crazy old lady I thought to myself, a little spite at her for breaking my peaceful moment to lecture me about my sugar intake. How did she know I had a slight addiction?

“Okay… great! Thanks for the tip.” I said with a smile and went back to closing my eyes right before she started to speak again.

“on a solo holiday”? She asked.

“why, yes. How did you know?”

“I can see it in your face, I took a similar holiday myself.’ She said with a smile. “mine was about 30 years ago though haha. I lot has happened since that trip.”

She seemed like she wanted to talk but I was in no mood. I made this trip to be by myself, not to talk to some woman about the years gone by. I tried to act closed off and close my eyes once more but she didn’t seem to take the hint, or she didn’t care. She kept prodding.

“you know, solo trips are good for you if used as a tool and not an escape. If you use it as an escape you’ll be trying to escape you’re whole life. The trick is to make your life the way you feel right now on this trip. Not easily done I’ll admit, but do able. Take your family for example, if you all work together and clearly communicate what each of you need you won’t feel trapped and will be able to create a schedule that works for everyone… that is, if you felt trapped of course.” As she spoke she was staring at me with this sly smirk as if she knew something I didn’t. I didn’t understand it, she was hitting on points that I had been feeling but without knowing me at all. I was a little creeped out when she told me to keep a strong hold on who I am and my boundaries for myself and my family when things started happening but also a little intrigued? I couldn’t help but lean in closer and talk to her more as time went on. How could this old woman I just sat next to know more about me than I did?

“I know I’m being officious, and don’t mean to interrupt your holiday, I just want to make sure you do it right with no regrets, you know”? She replied after she finished speaking on how younger generations need to pay more attention to what’s going on in the world and how I need to use my voice for change, real change.

“No actually I don’t know. How is it you know so much about me? To be honest lady, you’re kind of freaking me out.”

“Oh you’re a smart girl, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. And don’t stress, there’s plenty of time. When you start to enjoy the present moment you’re in and enjoy the journey, you’ll realize you have all the time in the world to figure things out and make them work. Which reminds me, can you please relax about the whole “housewife” thing. You know you’re made for more and you WILL be and do more. But like I said before, enjoy the journey and the moment. Your little ones won’t be little forever. They will grow up and you will wish you had more time with them. You will get everything done you need to, I just pray you also enjoy more of the little moments in between the big ones.”

I leaned back into my chair as her last lecture point hit a soft spot. I stared into the fire for a moment to get my grip when I realized I was sitting the exact same way the elderly woman was sitting. Same right foot over the left, same slouch, same shoeless feet, same position of her mug at the center of her chest. I closed my eyes to let everything that was happening sink in. The things this lady was telling me were issues I had been chewing around inside myself. The way she looked was familiar to me but I couldn’t put my finger on it, and how we both sit the exact same way. I had this growing feeling in the pit of my stomach but didn’t want to call it by name because then it would be real and I would be insane.

“What did you say your name was again”? I said out loud after a few moments. I opened my eyes and looked her way to find no one sitting in the other chair next to me. I looked around to find a gentleman sitting at a table not too far from me.

“Excuse me sir, did you see where the older lady sitting next to me went”?

“I haven’t seen anyone here all night beside me and you miss.”

I sat back in my chair with a sinking feeling in my chest. I felt the warmth from the fire on my feet and face as I looked at my half drank vanilla latte before setting it on the table next to me. Still feeling the woman’s presence and a swelling in my heart I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath in the nose, and exhaled out my mouth.